Embarrassment
Embarrassment is part of everyone’s life.
We all experience it and when we do, we hope that it happens in secret and not where someone else can witness it.
The people in the list below experienced the most excruciatingly painful embarrassing moments that you would wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole.
Never The Same Again
A pretty young nurse used to hang out in my room the days before my surgery. She kept me company, and I was her escape from rude old men.
The surgery was at the end of my spine, at the top of my behind. I was a hairy dude. One day, she came in with breakfast, and I was like, “Hey!” But her eyes turned cold, and she had a stone face.
She said, “Turn around, please”. I did. Off came the gown, and she started shaving my rear for the next hour. It was never the same after that.
The person in the next story should’ve waited a few minutes before calling emergency services.
Grown Out Of It
I grew up with a dairy allergy. Not lactose intolerance, but an actual allergy where I was told that my throat would close and my eyes swell up if I consumed dairy. Apparently, my eyes did swell a couple of times when I was much younger.
I stayed pretty vigilant about not eating dairy when I could help it, so I don’t have an actual memory of a reaction myself. Well, on the second day of my freshman year, I bought a sub and ate half of it before I realized there was Swiss cheese on it.
I freaked out and went to the office and told them, they called an ambulance and my parents rushed there. But there’s a twist. It turns out I’ve definitely grown out of the allergy. Ten years later and my friends still harass me about the time I got scared by a sandwich and called an ambulance. Still embarrassed about it every time.
The person in the next story definitely had a brain-blank moment.
Eye Can’t See
You know when you go get your physical at a doctor’s and you are asked to stand a few feet in front of a board with random letters and asked to read as many as you can as the letters get smaller? So here’s what happened to me.
Doctor: Read the 5th line, please
Me: E G F T M….
Doctor: Okay, now close your left eye and read with your right
Me: (closes left eye) E….G. F T M…
Doctor: Alright, now with your left eye
Me: closes right eye E G F….T….M
Doctor: Okay, now both eyes again.
Me: ……what?
Doctor: With both eyes, please
Me: (puts hands on both eyes) Uhhh…I can’t see, doctor.
I think about this often.
The person in the next story should think twice before playing with certain devices in class.
Wood You Like Other Pants?
In middle school woodworking class, the teacher was lecturing us on safety before class. During the five-minute lecture, we all sat up on the work tables, which had vises on the corners. I wasn’t paying much attention to the teacher and started playing with the vise, opening and closing it repeatedly.
Suddenly, everyone jumped off the tables and headed to the workstations. I quickly closed the vise and jumped off the table, not realizing I had clamped my pants to the table. That’s when disaster struck.
The entire back of my pants ripped off in front of the whole class, and I also smashed my face and wrist into the floor. I don’t think this is even the most embarrassing thing to happen to me, but it’s definitely in the top 10.
The guy in the next story would wish he wasn’t in such a hurry.
Fly By
I left my apartment one night to go to work. I was half asleep and on auto-pilot to get there. I ran into my neighbor as I was walking to the parking lot.
He talked to me for a few seconds, then awkwardly said “bye”, grabbed his girlfriend, and walked away. When I got to work, I ran into a co-worker of mine in the parking lot.
He talked to me for a few seconds, then ended the conversation quickly and shuffled away. I took a couple of steps toward the door, the wind blew, and I felt a cool breeze in my private area.
My fly was unzipped, and my private part was hanging out of my boxers. Ever since then, I have worn boxer briefs because you can’t beat the elastic fly.
The woman in the next story just couldn’t hold it in.
In Sickness And In Health
My boyfriend and I were young, in love, and couldn’t keep our hands off each other. It was also that stage of a relationship where you just don’t go #2 at all in his bathroom.
You hold it until you get home, cause yourself a lot of pain…but don’t dare stink up his bathroom. Of course, I was insecure back then too.
So one day I was a little under the weather, but his parents were out of town for the week. I came over to spend the weekend with him.
After a day of fooling around, I was exhausted and doped up with cold medications. I fell asleep and took a midday nap. I woke up cuddled up next to my boyfriend…only to make a horrific discovery.
The bed felt wet. You know if I had just “wet” the bed, though, I wouldn’t be sharing this story…Nope. I pooped his bed, diarrhea in his bed, liquid diarrhea all over his bed. Yes…this really happened. I bawled my eyes out. He was sweet about it, and we actually stayed together for two years after that.
The person in the next story should’ve looked before he leaped into a car.
Dude, Where’s The Car?
A mate used to pick me up on his way home from his class. We’d go to his place and drink or play games for a few hours, and I’d walk around the corner to go home. One day, I got into his car and said, “Thank God that’s over. Let’s go home and get…Oh, sorry, wrong car”.
An elderly Chinese couple was looking back at me in shock. The car was the same make and model, and the same color, as my friend’s. It was also parked in the same place he usually parked. My friend was opposite them, peeing himself laughing at me.
The kid in the next story should’ve just excused themself and gone to the bathroom.
Classroom Embarrassment
I was in the first grade writing a spelling test. Everyone had dividers set around them so that we couldn’t cheat. In the middle of the test, I started getting an upset stomach. I tried to ignore it since I was doing so well on my test so far.
I have no idea what I was thinking, but I then threw up a little in my mouth and swallowed it just so I could finish my test. My priorities clearly weren’t straight at the time. But it gets worse.
Thinking the puke was out of my system, I continued writing my test until all of a sudden puke just came soaring out of my mouth uncontrollably. Because we had dividers set up, no one had even known I puked until I raised my hand to notify my teacher.
My teacher then lifted the dividers and my puke flowed over all of my neighbors’ desks. It was absolutely horrifying.
The person in the next story had the most painful and relieving experience at the hospital.
Backlog Cleared
When I was about 12, I was constipated. A nugget would pop out, and I thought that was all the poop I had to do. One afternoon, I experienced a bad cramp in my gut. I told my mother, who was a nurse. We went to our doctor, and he said that I had a poop backlog.
I was checked into a hospital and administered suppositories. They had no effect, so then I received an enema. It didn’t work. Over the course of the next two days, I received another set of suppositories and enemas.
Then, one night while I was asleep, total chaos ensued. I awoke with another contraction and felt the imminent doom that was about to escape my body.
As I sat on the toilet, I heard what could only be described as the gates of Hades being opened and felt my body become about five pounds lighter in three seconds. I called for a nurse, and after being helped back to bed.
I spent the next ten hours in a deep sleep and the next day in a wheelchair before being able to use my legs again. I think they had to replace the toilet.
The girl in the next story should’ve just waited her turn to be a grown-up.
I’m Ready To Be Grown
I was maybe around eight or nine and we had a family party to go to. It was the type where adults and older people kind of socialized together and then the kids played together.
Now, for some unknown reason, I thought this year I wanted to be GROWN. So, I put tissue in my top to make out like I had, er, matured in the chestal region.
In my nine-year-old mind, I just knew that everyone at the party would have a newfound respect for me and I could join in with the adults.
In reality, I had two balls of tissue in my T-shirt that I can only imagine now resembled two chest horns. Just before we leave our house to go, my mom comes over and takes the two tightly scrunched-up balls of tissue out from the top of my shirt.
We have around three seconds of silent eye contact before she says “put them in the bin”. I put them in the bin and went to the party flat-chested. I’m 24 now and I still sometimes think about this before I go to sleep.
The kid in this next story just couldn’t contain himself.
Check Up Humiliation
When I was 12, my school district required any kids trying out for sports to have a physical. This included the whole, “Don’t drink, don’t smoke, let’s take your blood pressure, check your vitals, etc”. The last and most embarrassing part for a 12-year-old boy is having the doctor examine his groin for a hernia.
I got a female med student to perform my physical…and my worst fears occurred. My little guy “reacted” in the way you’d expect, right around when she asked me to “remove my shorts”.
She tried to act very professionally while examining my newly developed manhood before exclaiming, “I’m sorry, but isn’t he too young to have that? before bursting out in laughter and leaving the room.
Her supervising physician, who was male, finished the exam while trying to hold back awkward giggles of his own.
Meanwhile, my father was wiping back tears of laughter after witnessing what he was certain to be the most humiliating moment of his son’s life.
The next story is about a woman whose cat betrayed her in the worst way possible.
The Ultimate Betrayal
So I was sprawled out on my bed trying to look “appealing” because I could hear my boyfriend shuffling down the hall.
He gets to the door and I’m laying there like “Open for Business!!” and he’s leaning in the doorway. Well, my cat chose that moment to jump off my headboard onto my stomach. All four feet, directly into my guts.
I farted so loud I spooked myself. My boyfriend flinched, then laughed so hard that there was no recovery.
The guy in the next story just couldn’t hold it in any longer.
A Very Loud Announcement
Years ago, my dad was working at this big-name studio as a stagehand for a popular soap opera. He didn’t often work days when people were filming, but this particular day he was.
He was up way high in the rafters working on some of the lighting when he noticed that filming had started below him and they called for “Quiet on Set”.
Not wanting to make noise, he decided to sit on top of a ventilation shaft for the air conditioning.
He sat there for a while before he felt the rumbles. He had to pass gas. So, he let loose the gas. On top of the ventilation shaft. It echoed throughout the entire studio.
The actors and people behind the camera started laughing so hard, they had to stop filming so they could get themselves under control.
Dad stayed where he was for about 30 minutes before he decided he should go back down and try to finish his work, as normal. He gets down to the main floor and there his boss is standing, trying his hardest not to smile. All he says to my dad is, “Don’t do that again”.
The person in the next story was suffering from terrible pain that put them in hospital.
The Wrong End
I got home from work and had a feeling of pain in my abdomen. It was not uncommon, given the fact that I have Crohn’s disease, so I thought nothing of it and continued on with my night.
By the time 9 PM hit, I was curled up in the fetal position with some of the most intense pain I’ve ever felt. As the night went on, I eventually vomited and felt immediate relief. I thought it was over, but I was so wrong.
Every few hours, though, the pain came back, and I ran out of things to throw up. When I saw it was 6 AM, and I still had the pain, I knew something wasn’t right. Eventually, I was able to drag myself to the toilet to puke again, but this one was different.
As I later found out in the hospital, I had a bowel obstruction. This one happened to work itself out by traveling out of the system the other way—I pooped out of my mouth.
The kid in the next story would think twice about doing something silly the night before school.
The Ring
One time I had to go to the nurse’s office at school because I had a ring-shaped bruise around my mouth and the teacher and nurse thought I was being mistreated at home.
What really happened is that I got a cup stuck in my mouth by sucking all the air out of it the night before while I was taking a bath.
The person in the next story must have thought they were standing next to an old lady from children’s fairy tales.
Caught In The Crosshairs
I was standing in line at Hardee’s and struck up a conversation with an 80-year-old lady.
I noticed a long, loose hair had fallen onto her face and decided to brush it out of the way.
I said, “Let me get that for you”, and gently tried to lift the hair off her face. Unfortunately, it was attached to a mole.
The person in the next story should have thought twice about eating a whole packet of candy.
Not So Sweet After All
When I was dieting heavily in my younger years, I ate two large packets of sugar-free lollies. I was so happy I found them and thought I had seamlessly gotten away with a guilty pleasure.
But it was all too good to be true…Little did I know sugar-free lollies have an enormous laxative effect. Sadly for me, it built up as gas in my stomach, and it felt like I was going to burst.
When the gas finally passed in the emergency room, the 20-second ripper ended with a shart. It was the second most humiliating moment of my life.
The person in the next story must’ve been scarred for life after what he saw at his friend’s house.
To The Left, To The Left
I was at a friend’s house for the first time ever. I met his dad, shook his hand, etc. About twenty minutes later, I asked, “Hey, where’s your bathroom?”
My friend told me, “First door on the right”. I opened the door only to see something that scarred my eyes.
My friend’s dad, sans pants and underwear, was sitting on the bed. He jumped up, ran over to the door, said, “Bathroom is across the hall”, and shut the door. Turns out the bathroom door was the first on the left.
The person in the next story probably wanted the world to swallow them in whole.
Mic Check
I had just arrived into this super boring class on Zoom call. I checked to see if my mic was muted. It said it was. Then I sealed my destruction.
I let my roommate know, “Hey, I’ve joined this stupid class and I probably don’t need to listen, but just so you know…”
Someone from the class messaged me right away and said “Yo, your mic is on. We heard you talking trash”. I want to disappear.
The guy in the next story had the surprise of his life when he went to the park.
Surprise!
My girlfriend decided to go to the park and take a walk one day. I told her that I had to do some stuff at home but she can go solo.
About 15 minutes later, I decided to surprise her at the park. I go looking and I eventually find her. I sneak up behind her, spin her around, and give her a kiss.
As it turns out, that was not her, but instead, a middle-aged woman wearing the same clothes. She slapped me so hard that I was seeing stars. Super embarrassed by this, I ran home and just waited for my girlfriend. I have never told her what happened.
The woman in the next story had a huge disaster after going on one date.
A Night To Remember
I met this guy for the first time and we went for dinner and drinks. He was so handsome and everything was going so well, we even kissed and there was an instant connection.
But I drank so much to calm my nerves that I passed out in front of him back at the hotel. He said I was so gone that he was scared and called the receptionist from the hotel to help him.
I then went and sat on the toilet for ages. Then I was sick everywhere and he cleaned it up. But that was just the beginning.
My period then started and I bled everywhere, all over the white sheets. He didn’t leave my side even though, again, he didn’t know me as that was the first time we’d met.
Now I’m so ashamed to open his messages. He’s being so mature and understanding but I can’t come back from that.
He said I was having panic attacks and eventually they had to call an ambulance, where the EMT spoke with me over the phone to help calm me down. He also said I was calling him different guys’ names.
The mom in the next story must’ve regretted having that cocktail during a zoom call.
The Wannabe Cool Mom
My husband and I have been working on a backyard project for a few weeks and finally finished yesterday. We had some cocktails to celebrate and I had a Zoom call at 7 pm for my daughter’s preschool.
I continued to drink while on the call and didn’t eat dinner. I woke up this morning to a few text messages from other parents asking if everything was ok and if I was alright.
I was very confused as I couldn’t remember the end of the call. I called a girlfriend whose daughter is at the same school and who was also on the call.
She informed me that I started puking in the middle of the Zoom call for two minutes straight before my line went off. Thankfully my video was off but the sound was not.
She said every time I would start retching, my box would light up and people would stop talking so it was very obvious it was me.
I must have finally realized the meeting was still going and hung up after a couple of minutes, but at that point, the damage was done. Ladies and gentlemen, mom of the year.
The person in the next story really wished they had kept their mouth shut.
Commentary Included
I’m the manager of the boys’ basketball team at school, so I video all their games. Well…I didn’t realize something crucial. The recording had audio and I talk to myself A LOT.
So during the recording that the team uses to study during practice, they now have a bunch of comments from me.
And it’s really weird stuff like, “I don’t know anything about basketball, yet I’m the team manager” and “Oh shoot—the ball is over there now. Oops” and “WEEE” every time someone would try to shoot a basket from far away.
So coach came up to me after the game and told me, “You do realize the video has sound right?” and I expired right then and there.
Then he said, “But I think you’re pretty funny so if you can’t find a way to mute it, that’s perfectly fine”. My soul has left my body. I can’t decide whether I should be laughing or crying right now.
The guy in the next story should’ve made sure his girlfriend was next to him before he did the unthinkable.
Not Yours To Touch
My girlfriend and I work together and whenever I walk past her, I either smack or grab a deep handful of her backside.
Well, I was walking by and did my usual…only to look up and see my girl on the other side of the restaurant.
The person didn’t even react until I realized and apologized about a hundred times.
The guy in the next story wished he didn’t turn around while he was in the bathroom.
Not Funny, Kid
This was super embarrassing and I almost quit out of shame. The restroom in my office has a row of urinals and a row of stalls. I was at a urinal and just started going when someone walked in the door. It was my boss with his young son (like four years old I think).
My boss had to take his kid to the bathroom and they’re walking into a stall behind me. Well, the kid was holding a baseball and he threw it, hitting me in the head.
It hurt more than it should have and I panicked and turned around, still peeing, and literally peed on my boss’s leg and shoes.
I’m in shock. He’s like what the heck? The kid is cracking up. My head is throbbing. I quickly turn back to the urinal to finish. Oh my god. My boss and I didn’t make eye contact for a week.
The person in the next story would have a painful experience at a restaurant.
Ice, Eyes, Baby
I took my family for a Korean barbecue dinner. Somehow, my five-year-old cousin stuck her ice cream cone between my glasses and my eye. It hurt really bad, and I ended up in the ER.
The next day, I went to the eye doctor. When he looked into my eye, he gasped. Basically, my cousin performed Lasik with an ice cream cone.
My eye was patched all week, tinted yellow, and had no perception.
The person’s dad in the next story embarrassed them so badly that he wished the ground would open up and swallowed them.
Moonwalk Fail
I was visiting my dad across the country after not seeing him for a while. He invited his friends over for some introduction, and we were all gathered around the kitchen with me being center stage.
My dad requested I show everyone my moonwalk because I excel at it. I spun my butt around and proceeded to walk on the moon so well, Michael Jackson gave a “Cha Mon!” from his grave.
But my dad being a dad, he decided to put his foot out and trip me midway. It all went so wrong. On my way down out of instinct, I grabbed for anything close…the closest thing unfortunately was my dad’s crotch. Yep, I grabbed my dad’s crotch in front of everyone.
The woman in the next story almost died of embarrassment after being on the phone with her dad.
Never Speak Of It Again
A couple of years ago I was sitting in my college dorm talking to my dad on the phone. At this point, I hadn’t seen or talked to my family in weeks and was spending the majority of my time with my boyfriend, whom I call “babe”.
As my dad and I were wrapping up the phone call, I said, “Okay talk to you later. Love you babe”.
AHHHHHHHHHH. At that moment I just FROZE. My face got so hot and I was absolutely mortified.
My dad and I have a good relationship but we’re not close enough for us to laugh it off. Right after I said it, I didn’t know whether to laugh, apologize, or say anything. I ended up pretending like it never happened and stayed silent.
I could hear my dad pause on the phone for a bit and he went “……. love you too” and I hung up. My dad and I have never discussed it. Sometimes when I lay in bed I think about it and cringe so hard.
The person in the next story couldn’t believe the report they had to transcribe.
Mr. Bean
When I worked in a medical office, I had to transcribe a report about an older gentleman who was experiencing some “dribbling” from his little guy.
Rather than seek medical attention for it, he would place a small bean into the opening and just remove it when he needed to pee.
Well, one day, his “solution” became a major health concern—he couldn’t get the bean out. He figured it would come out on its own at some point, so he let it be.
Eventually, he did seek medical attention because the bean had begun to sprout.
The person in the next story wished they had muted everything around them.
Praise The Lord?
During a Zoom class one day, the teacher was calling on students to talk. He calls on me and I unmute myself, but then my dad’s Christian music that he recorded starts playing EXTREMELY LOUDLY and I could not figure out how to turn it off.
I muted myself and wrote in the chat that my mic wasn’t working. I can still hear my dad singing, “Christ the lord is risen today…..”
Disclaimer: In order to protect the privacy of those depicted, some names, locations, and identifying characteristics have been changed and are products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblances to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, are entirely coincidental.
