1. A Schizophrenic
There’s nothing worse than finding out your roommate is absolutely crazy. These people survived years of living under the same roof as psychos, criminals, and mentally ill people who made their lives a living hell.
Didn’t tell us he was schizophrenic. Would barge into our rooms in the middle of the night wearing a cloak (literally) and rant about alien conspiracies. Believed the ghosts of the house were communicating with him.
The final straw was when he got the flu and beat another roommate for “intentionally infecting him.” His mother came and picked him up, trying to make excuses.
2. The Bodybuilder
Had a roommate freshman year in a shared room who was training for a bodybuilding competition. He would wake up at 5, make a ton of noise, go for a run, come back at 6, go to the gym, come back and pose in front of the mirror (sometimes in the nude), all while I was clearly awake.
He would also go to bed at 8 pm and get pissed if any noise was made, the clicking of the keys on my phone once set him off because he needed beauty rest.
3. A Cage Full Of Squirrels
My roommate was from Appalachia, West Virginia. Gets drunk and, catches a “mess of squirrels.” Brings them inside the apartment house. They’re all in the same damn cage.
When he opens it up to clean one before cooking it, they all shoot out and run off. The dude stumbles around, trying to catch them all again. Knocking everything over.
4. The Antisocial Dude
During freshman year of college, I got stuck with a smelly, antisocial dude who would call his mom on the landline (this was on the cusp of the cellphone explosion) in our room and complain about his classes and professors in the whiniest tone for about 2 hours every single night.
He never once hung out with us despite our encouragement, and by the 2nd month in, we stopped talking completely. I wonder how he’s doing.
5. Never Again
I had a horrible nightmare roommate, who had no sense of smell. Her boyfriend was a creep who lived with us without my permission, and they each paid one-quarter of the rent while I paid half (he also loved to leave hair in the bathroom sink!)
She got pet rats that stank, and they escaped and ate/pooped on a bunch of my stuff when I was out of the apartment on winter break.
6. Way Too “Green”
I had a roommate who was excessively “green.” Meaning he would sort through our recycling and trash and then hold house meetings to explain why certain types of things were going in the wrong container. I learned a lot about recycling, but it kind of got to be too much.
Also, quite a few too many roommates prefer to have their dishes “soak” when we have a perfectly good dishwasher.
7. A Real Slob
One of my roommates was a real slob. We got on his ass about messes in the kitchen, but there wasn’t much we could do about his room. Anyways, one night we woke up to his yells, and when I opened his door, a raccoon ran out of his room, which my other roommate shot and killed.
My dirty-ass roommate fell asleep with his window open, and a raccoon ended up coming in and eating random junk in his room.
8. I Wish I Kicked Him Out Sooner
I had a roommate that would play video games on his laptop all day in the same seat. He was clean and out of the way, but my dog didn’t like him.
One day I got home and there was blood on the walls close to the door and the window, she pooped and peed in the room (which was the first time), and blood there too. I looked at her, and there was blood coming out of her mouth, and I took her to the vet ER.
She was missing a little bit of her tongue, when I got back home, I asked him what happened and he said nothing happened.
The dog refused to come out of the room, and later on, I caught him tossing the dog off the couch and laughing. Kicked him out and made his parents pay rent money he owed, my dog immediately was happier.
9. A Thief
My roommate would walk into the room at two o’clock in the morning, flip the lights on and crank the heat as high as it would go about ninety degrees. She would spend about ten minutes in the room before going to her boyfriend’s room. I had class at eight am, so this was really annoying.
One day my friend, who is the roommate of her boyfriend, tells me that he heard her say she had been stealing my medication for ADHD. I was already suspicious about it since I had just gotten a refill that I had yet to start.
I counted the pills, and sure enough, some were missing. I went to the campus police who told her they were dusting the bottle for fingerprints. She confessed by the end of the day and was removed from my room.
She was not kicked out of school and was not punished. She also didn’t think she did anything wrong and insisted to her friends that I overreacted because she was taking them conservatively.
10. She Wrecked Our Room
My first college roommate went to a frat party, got blackout drunk, and was carried into our dorm. Her friends immediately left. She laid in the bed breathing heavily for about half an hour, then stood up, opened her dresser drawer, sat down on it and took a looonnng piss.
She closed the drawer and climbed back into bed, then started puking. I gave her a trash can and left to spend the night in the computer lab. When I went back the next day, the toilet was clogged, there was puke on basically every surface on her side of the dorm, and there was still a drawer full of piss and lace panties. She was gone for 3 days.
11. Don’t Live With Friends
My roommate took my 600 dollars every month and used it on his car insurance. Went two weeks with no hydro or gas in the middle of a -30 degree winter. Also, never bought groceries but ate all the food.
Burnt a hole in my blanket, then denied going in my room while I was on vacation. Would come home after work with like ten people and get wasted, and be obnoxious until like 6 am. Good times. Don’t live with friends, kids.
12. The Crazy Kid
My cousin just told me a story about a buddy of his. Lived in a house with five or so other college students. One was literally insane. Bought one of those portable BBQ propane tanks and put it in a microwave, and max power and time.
He locks himself in a room with only a fire extinguisher, waiting for an explosion. Luckily someone found it and called the cops. The guy was arrested but let off because he was insane and got put in some facility or something.
13. A Weird Habit
My college roommate was a beautiful brunette that earned money at car shows as one of those models that would wear skimpy outfits and stand next to hot rods.
She would spend a fair amount of time primping in the mirror of our bathroom every day. We didn’t talk much and didn’t really know one another very well, but she was fine, and we got along.
One day I was drying my hair and saw a brown patch on the wall next to the mirror. I thought it was dirt and was about to just wipe it clean with a rag. When I got closer, I realized it wasn’t dirt but short hairs affixed to the wall.
It dawned on me that she was plucking her eyebrows and sticking the roots to the wall afterwards. I confirmed it the next time she was in front of the mirror but never said anything. I can only assume those hairs remained long after we parted ways at the end of the semester.
14. He Didn’t Clean For Days
I had a roommate who made this huge dinner for his girlfriend. Nice gesture. I had to wake up at 3:30 the next morning for work, so I didn’t ask how it went. The next morning, I wake up, and it absolutely stinks in our apartment.
I go into the kitchen and realize he didn’t clean up anything. There was a pot full of black liquid, some kind of potatoes in a casserole dish, and bread he didn’t even put away. I was like, aight, maybe they had a late night, and he didn’t get a chance to clean.
Later that morning, he left and didn’t even clean. I don’t know if he left town or what because I left shortly after, and stuff wasn’t clean after that.
I wouldn’t force my other roommates to clean because it’s a lot of stuff with food still in it, and that’s not their job. I came back Sunday night, and it still hasn’t been cleaned up. Eventually, he did clean it up, but that was ridiculous to me.
15. Copy Cat
During my sophomore year of college, my English teacher asked me if I knew this student who was in one of her other classes. It was my roommate, and he had apparently turned in a copy of a paper I had written for a previous assignment.
16. Because, Why Not?
A friend of mine in college was randomly assigned an international student from Bangladesh as his freshman roommate.
The guy would always call his parents in the middle of the night because of the time difference but would do it right in the room while my friend was trying to sleep.
The worst story, though, was that he wasn’t a big fan of the dining hall food and one night decided to cook a potato in their microwave. My friend woke up to a smoking microwave and no roommate. Apparently, he had no idea how to cook it, so just set the microwave for 15 minutes and then left.
17. It Was Too Much
I had a roommate in college who used to play ‘Bitter Sweet Symphony’ on repeat all day, every day, from the minute I moved in to even after I moved out. (I moved down the hall to another kid’s room because this is just one of the super-weird things he used to do, and I still used to hear it constantly playing whenever I’d walk by.) I really used to like that song too, but it’s ruined for me now.
18. No More Toilet Paper For You
I had a roommate who absolutely refused to buy toilet paper. After weeks of her stealing ours, the three of us started hiding it so she would be forced to buy her own. Instead, she started taking heaps of napkins from restaurants and stealing rolls of our paper towels.
One night we all went out to dinner, came home, and the entire basement was flooded because she backed up the toilet with god only knows how much stuff that shouldn’t ever be flushed.
19. A Psycho Roommate
I had a roommate who would (attempt to) leave unjustified scathing, passive-aggressive notes for just everyone — our apartment neighbors, the owners of cars parked outside, and even our landlady.
The kind of notes with overly polite language underlines, and randomly capitalized words. Always written in red marker. Always rude enough to get the sh*t beaten out of her. Always signed by both of us. I spent that year following her around and removing the notes as quickly and quietly as possible.
20. Wrong Toilet
First year of college, my friend’s roommate came stumbling into their dorm room one night. It was blatantly obvious that she was drunk beyond reason. She started shouting, ‘I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM,’ which woke up my friend.
She saw her roommate staggering back and forth through the doorway but stayed in bed because she really didn’t know how to react. Before the roommate left to go to the party, she’d placed her white Mac laptop on her chair by her desk.
So, what we think happened was that the white from the laptop on the seat made the chair look like a toilet in the mind of the drunken roommate. She approached the chair, pulled down her pants, and sat on her laptop.
There was only one way this could go. Although her laptop was covered in piss and poop, she denied that this ever happened.
21. Nice Try
I lived with three of the worst girls I’ve ever met when I was in college. I signed a yearlong lease with them and lasted two months before I noped out and found some poor soul to take over my lease.
They ignored me 98% of the time, except for when they ate my food in the fridge before going downtown (which they did every week from Thursday through Sunday), and when they locked themselves out (which also happened Thursday through Sunday when they were coming home from the bar).
They also stood outside my door and loudly made fun of me or mocked my appearance. I’m a pretty chill person, so usually I would just hang out with other friends and just come home to sleep.
But one day, a friend accidentally let it slip to one of the girls that I’m allergic to avocado. The next day, I opened the fridge and saw that they’d cut all their avocados in half and piled them on and around my food in the fridge.
They didn’t know that I only get sick when I eat avocado, not from being around it, so they just went and wasted time and money…in the hopes of what? Poisoning me? Making me sick? Giving me an allergic reaction? Come on.
22. What A Creep
My old ‘roommate’ (he was technically the homeowner but lived in a shack in the backyard) would come into my room early in the morning and watch me sleep.
I was a bartender at the time, so I would get home about an hour or so before he would be leaving for work. I was always thoroughly passed out when he’d leave, and I’m a heavy sleeper, so I did not notice this was happening for MONTHS until a guy I was seeing stayed up and caught him opening my door.
There was also a second door to my room that I could not open (it was locked from the other side). I don’t know what was going on in there, but I’m fairly certain he was spying on me from that room as well.
23. A Cup Full Of ‘Liquid’
She had this cup full of ‘liquid’ by her bed. There’s no better way to describe it, really. She kept her toothbrush in it — bristles down in the liquid — and when it came to brushing time, she’d basically just take the toothbrush out, brush her teeth, spit into the cup, and shove her toothbrush back into her cup.
24. An Imaginary Girlfriend
In college, my roommate pretended he had a girlfriend who lived in England (we’re in the US). He used to talk to her on the phone and everything while we were both in the dorm.
My roommate was Facebook friends with her, of course, and a few of her friends whom he had ‘met while visiting her.’ He used to talk about how much he missed her, especially sleeping with her.
After I moved, I found out she never existed. Fake profile, fake name, fake pics…he was talking to no one (except himself) on the phone. I have no idea why he’d go to such lengths for this lie, but I felt really weird about the whole thing once I found out.
25. All Because She Forgot To Get Toilet Tissue
A friend of mine had a pretty rough time during her first week of living in a new place with a bunch of guys. She originally wanted to rent with her friend, but they, unfortunately, pulled out of the university, so she ended up having to find somewhere to rent alone.
She ended up renting a room in a house share with four other students. After the first week, she informed them she was going to the store, and they asked her to pick up some toilet tissue for the house.
She accidentally forgot, and they were pretty upset about it. So the next day, she came home to find her bedroom walls and bedsheets smeared in poop. It was their idea of teaching her a lesson about forgetting to get toilet tissue.
26. The Magician
I lived with a magician. Of many odd moments, the one I remember vividly was when he was about to leave the country for nearly two months.
Before he left (hours before going to the airport), he filled the freezer with whole chickens. Then he got really upset when we ate them to free up space.
27. That’s Not How You Clean The Shower
My roommate thought they could ‘clean’ the shower by leaving it running with super-hot water and closing the door. They turned the water on and merrily left for work.
It was my day off, and I realized something was amiss when I realized how many hours the water had been running. I knocked, but of course, there was no answer. I panicked and tried to open the door, but it was locked.
So, naturally, I thought one of my roommates had locked themselves in there and, I dunno died or something. I went completely hysterical and called the housing office so they could break down the door.
Turns out, the wood had swelled so much from all the moisture they had to pry the door open. There was no one in there. After that, I was just confused until the roommate in question got home and explained.
When we got the bill for the door they had to replace, the roommate tried to weasel their way out of paying for it.
They fully intended to make all four of us split the cost, and there was NO WAY that was happening. They did eventually pay up, thank goodness.
28. Simply Disgusting
The unhinged roommate who has stuck the GUNK FROM INSIDE HER PIMPLES on the mirror not once, not twice, not three times, but FOUR TIMES.
I’ve asked her to stop popping her pimples and sticking the pus on the mirror three times already…. this is just embarrassing for her now.
29. He Was Making Cookies In His Mouth
We had a ton of food going missing, and we all knew who it was, but my best bud (landlord) discreetly set up a webcam in the kitchen.
Within a couple of days, we caught the guy eating a stick of butter straight from the wrapper, and then he went in the pantry, grabbed a bag of sugar, and just started chugging it. He was making cookies in his mouth.
30. He Used My Underwear
My first college roommate hated doing laundry, so he wore my underwear (without asking) when his were dirty. It never felt like my underwear again after he’d been in it.
31. What A Gem
She stole my underwear (she was at least 4 sizes larger than me), gave her boyfriend a key to our apartment, and he would stay there 6 nights a week and not contribute to rent.
On the night her boyfriend was not there, she would bring random guys home and cheat on her boyfriend with them, LOUDLY. She’d complain I “never took out the trash” because I found it pointless to do it once a day when there were maybe 3 things in it.
Would put dead stink bugs in my coffee water tank, and when she moved out, she locked her bedroom door and left her sink running for 3 days until I was finally able to get it open to find her bathroom flooded.
She also talked so much crap about me to my boss at the time (who happened to be a family friend of hers). I had no choice but to quit a find a better job because she cut my hours. What a gem.
32. Don’t Live With Guys
I once lived with 3 guys in a house. There was what I called a “pee ring” around the toilet. As there was dust elsewhere.
But the pee would mix with the dust to form this ring around the base of the toilet. They’d also play garbage Jenga. If it toppled over, usually that person would take it out. Sometimes said person was too lazy and would let it topple.
For the next person who had it topple over a 2nd time to take it out. The kitchen sink was always filled with moldy dishes and food. The kitchen counter the same.
The stove top had dirty pots and the oven had dirty pans. We had lots of fruit flies, mice and mold.
33. The Weird One
When I was attending uni, I had this one crazy roommate. She had graduated years ago but was not searching for a job or anything.
She would just sit in her room all day, doing god knows what, only venturing out for groceries and, sporadically, cooking. No friends or family ever visited her, she never went anywhere.
She would also never clean anything in the apartment, not even her own dirty dishes – and proceeded to throw an angry fit at me whenever I cleaned her dishes for her (because layers of fungus in a communal kitchen).
She would also get very upset whenever i put stuff on ‘her’ side of the countertop (which was also communal). I always wondered what became of her.
34. A Full-Blown Alcoholic
I lived in a large house and had a housemate who was barely 21 and a full-blown alcoholic. He was a nice enough guy when he was sober, but he was really mean when he drank.
He’d destroy stuff, pick fights, stuff like that. He did stuff that he otherwise would have been arrested for, but his family was a prominent group of lawyers in the area, so he got away with the crap he did, and to some degree, his parents were enabling his behavior.
Eventually, he caused too much destruction, and my housemates and I voted to evict him. There was also suspicion that he was getting into harder drugs. When he was told to leave, he did as much destruction as he could to my housemates’ property.
He never targeted me because there was no conflict between him and I, but like I said, he was mean to the more assertive housemates.
Eventually, he got arrested, and his parents had to come to the house to collect his stuff and apologize. I think he was actually left alone to cool his heels in jail. I just hope he got the help he needed.
35. The Brazilian Idiot
This Brazilian idiot. Ate all my food, and I’d wake up and find Brazilians passed out all over the apartment half the week, if ever I had a female friend round, he’d be in there talking about how he’s Brazilian ‘you know Brazil? I’m from Brazil, I’m Brrrrazillian’.
The worst thing he did was try and claim that Brazilian pizza was better than Italian pizza. But then, apparently, everything Brazilian is the best in the world.
He did sleep with one of my friends, she told me he lasted 2 minutes, and the first thing he said after the intercourse was, ‘So, is this the first time you slept with a Brrrazilllian?’ NEVER met someone so sickeningly patriotic. Brazil was his only personality trait!
36. The Sleepwalker
Had a sleepwalking roommate at university. One night I woke up with him standing over my bed, his long curly hair flowing down his face… not doing anything, just standing there facing my direction.
The other time he sat on his bed in the middle of the night, shouting the other roommate’s name and asking, “WHAT IS STANDING NEXT TO THE WINDOWS, WHAT IS THAT??!!!” and immediately laying down and sleeping calmly…we didn’t close our eyes till morning came.
37. The Smell Was Terrible
My roommate peed himself in his sleep. Every. Single. Night. The worst part is it’s four of us sleeping AND living in the same room. The smell… I wish I could forget. He also terribly stinks from constant sweating and leaves around rotting leftovers.
38. Maggot Man
The guy moves into a room in a shared house with my friend. They begin to realize the guy is a not-so-functional alcoholic.
Never leaves his room, they hear him groaning and stumbling around a lot. One day friend goes to do laundry, and the new guy has just finished a load in the washer.
When the friend goes to put his clothes in the washer, he notices it’s full of rice. Rice that moves.
Friend screams, take his clothes out of the washer, starts hot bleaching the inside of the machine, trying to get all the maggots out.
The housemates go to confront the new guy in his room about the laundry maggots and see he is living in absolute filth. Piles of clothes next to vomit puddles that have now attracted flies and maggots, bottles of pee and garbage strewed around, there is no mattress he sleeps on the floor, the wood on the floor is WARPED from all the puke on it, there is vomit in the air vent…
They ask him if he is peeing in bottles and where does he poop. Apparently, he was going to the nearby gas station to take dumps because he was worried the housemates would be judgmental.
They kick him out less than three weeks after he arrives, clean the room, discovering FURTHER maggot and puke piles. They leave all his furniture in the front yard to be collected whenever, while the guy stumbles off to find new digs to ruin further.
39. I Still Hate The Word ‘Chill’
Roommate 1 (nice guy) finished his bottle of peanut oil and accidentally left the empty bottle on the counter. Roommate 2 went completely nuts and started yelling.
We assumed it was because she hated the mess and wanted people to throw away their stuff (which would have been fair, though a bit of an overreaction).
Finally, we could make out enough words to understand that she thought somebody had finished her oil.
No amount of reasoning could convince her that the full bottle in the cabinet was hers. After that, she locked salt and pepper in her room to stop others from using it as she had refilled them last
. One of many tantrums… ironically, she would always tell people how chill she was and that they should be chill, too. To this day, I hate the word chill.
40. Arguing About The Pee
In a big city, expensive apartment, one evening, I heard the sound of liquid in the hallway. I went to check and found a roommate peeing in the hall closet, drunk out of his mind.
I told him the toilet was the next door down, but he continued peeing until he was finished. The next morning I told the other roommate, who then checked to find his dress shoes were ‘wet.’
Over breakfast, I overheard Pee-boy and Shoe-owner – both in their 30s – argue about the pee. I moved out days later.
41. He Was Absolutely Insane
When I was 18, my boyfriend and I lived with my 18-year-old best friend and her 27-year-old boyfriend. The 27-year-old dude was INSANE!
As soon as you meet him, he tells you he is psychic, sees ghosts, reads tarot cards & has past lives, blah, blah, blah. He also has a drinking/pot problem, so as he gets more inebriated over the course of the day/evening, he sinks lower and lower into supernatural delusion mode.
He had my best friend convinced he was a real “live” vampire! So drunk roomie over the period of six months would regale us with stories from our past lives and how we were all destined to be “made” by him.
He was a pretty famous vamp too! Does the name Armand ring a bell? He actually bit my friend on the neck, swelled up like a baseball under her skin. He also told us when we were gone, he would fly around the apartment…good times.
42. The Third Wheel
My boyfriend and I own a home, and his friend lives with us, and any time we go out on a date, we get the third degree about why we didn’t wake him up to go.
He eats anything we make without asking, talks loudly to himself when I’m watching a show, and basically hates on anything and everything I enjoy.
Sports teams, food, TV shows, movies, it doesn’t matter, he has to completely tear it to pieces. I’ve become skilled at ignoring his constant annoying quirks and general negativity, but sometimes I consider buying him a prostitute to make him experience another form of human contact besides us.
43. Captain Morgan
My friend’s roommate (we live in the same hallway) has a particularly strange way of drying his nether region after showering.
He walks up to his fan while wearing only a towel around his waist and puts one foot up on a chair, thus lifting the towel and letting the fan effectively blow dry his parts. This is why he’s known as “Captain Morgan” by our entire floor.
44. Burnt Popcorn
My freshman year of college was…interesting. And smelly. One time my roommate burned two bags of popcorn in one night. That is, he burned one bag and then burned the next one.
And it’s not like they were “sorta burned.” No: these were thoroughly burned like 3rd-degree burns over 95% of the body type stuff.
I got back from my friend’s dorm later that night, and the entire hall smelled like burnt popcorn. The kids down the hall started laughing right when they saw me. I immediately knew where the smell was coming from.
Everything smelled like burnt popcorn, including all of the clothes that were in my closet. I doused them with Febreeze and cologne, but the next day, the cute girl in my history class interrupts our RSD session and says, “Um, okay, is it just me, or does it smell like burnt popcorn in here?”
I had to explain why I smelled that way, but I’m sure most of them thought it was me who burned the popcorn.
45. Did You Spill Something?
Moved in with a law student thinking that all he would do is study. Quite the opposite: total sloth/stoner/drunk.
Woke up early one morning, walked into a puddle of water, and while walking past his room, I noticed his lights were on, door wide open, shoes/jacket/hat on, pants around his ankles, and passed out cold.
All I saw was hair and flesh. Then he had the nerve to text me, “did you spill something?”
46. Enough Is Enough
My current story where I’m being evicted in about two weeks because I no longer have the money to pay bills for the whole house.
One of them blew me off several times when I had to come to him asking for bill money because he was busy getting it on with the third (different) girl that week.
Another had been asked to call the landlady and let her know our rent would be late since I had been the only one willing to call in the past. That didn’t happen, she got pissed when no check showed up.
The same guy also leaves his cat outside of his room with no litter box when he has people over, so his cat pisses in my hallway. Whatever happens from here on out and whatever hardships I face, at least I won’t have to live with these chuckleducks.
47. It Was A Nightmare
I didn’t know my roommate before. I had never had a roommate before, so I didn’t know what to expect. Might not be as bad as others.
She would Skype really loudly or study and keep all the lights on (instead of just the one near her bedside) while I slept. I didn’t have a problem with her studying with the lights on despite the fact that we had a library in our dorms.
I spoke to her about the skyping, but that wouldn’t stop. I bought a night eye mask to deal with the light, but no earbuds would block the noise that was caused by her skyping.
Additionally, she refused to lock or close our door, so I would end up having to use the toilets to change my clothes. This also meant that some of my things got stolen because our room was almost never locked.
Our room was a COMPLETE nightmare. It was like a tornado passed through it. I wouldn’t have minded this so much, but it was not just messy but also unsanitary. There was mold growing in things.
The only time the room was locked was while she had intercourse there. I was locked out of my own room several times because of this. This was after I came back from nights out and had nowhere to sleep.
I would sometimes wait for one of my friends to come back from their night out so I could crash on their floor, or else I’d just lie outside our room.
48. Man Children
Some old roommates of mine turned out to be rally-attending Catholic nutjobs and also man-children.
I think the worst was when I woke up to hear a vacuum running, which had never happened before. Upon investigation, my roommate’s mother was cleaning our apartment.
I frantically put away anything I could find and washed all the dishes before hiding in my room out of shame. A few hours later, my roommate and his dad showed up, wasted, having been at a sports bar the entire time.
He also used wet wipes instead of toilet paper. Weird.
49. A Standard Douchebag Housemate
A woman in her early 20s claimed to be studying when I met her, but after never seeing her leave the house, I’m fairly sure she’s just on welfare.
Spends all day high in her room, drinking and blasting music like Nickelback. Attracts a lot of deadbeat guys to the house who she proceeds to have loud intercourse with until she steals from them, resulting in half-hour-long screaming matches in the front yard.
This happens more than once per week. Standard douchebag housemate stuff like stealing food, being a disgusting pig, etc.
50. I Gave Up
I had roommates who never wanted to clean anything. I finally got tired of being the only one cleaning the white tile floor in the kitchen, so I let it go for about 8 months.
The tiles turned a filthy gray & black. After the 8 months, I made a giant pentagram on the floor with Windex & a sponge.
51. The Worst Decision Of My Life
I rented to a guy who liked to party with high school girls (he was 21), practiced fake martial arts, left swords all over the house, had house parties every weekend, a few of which ended up in front-yard brawls that I and police had to break up, etc.
The tenancy ended when I gave him notice. In response, he tried to push me down a flight of stairs, so I hip-tossed him in the opposite direction. He burst into tears and told me my sifu would be very disappointed in me.
Oh yeah, the reason I gave him notice was at one of his parties, HIS FRIEND POOED ON MY CARPET.
52. What Are The Odds
So, freshman year, I was a shy homebody, and so I elected to be in the honors dorm to try and stay out of trouble. Well, it turns out I ended up on the floor with a hardcore drug dealer and two huge stoners who used to hotbox it all the time.
I was known on the floor as the guy with the best food: my parents had a membership to Sam’s Club, and they usually took me there when I went home.
So… One day, I’m sitting at my desk playing a video game, and I feel this terrible blunt pain in my kidneys. In shock, I scream and look at my door… There’s my floor mate with a stun gun.
He says, “Dude, you got any Easy Mac?” So I gave the guy some Easy Mac and went back to playing.
But wait, there’s more. I’m at some work party five years later, 1,000 miles away from home, and I randomly meet this girl who ends up being my wife.
So I go to her class one day (she’s going for a PhD), and this guy is in her class. Apparently, he cleaned himself up, and he became a model student. 5 years after, he hit me with a stun gun to get some Easy Mac.
53. Don’t Live With Addicts
Some of my fun roommates!
1 – Addict, claimed to be clean when I met him through a friend… after living with us for less than two months, he robbed my best friend and then broke into my (our) house by smashing a window with a rock and tried to steal my brand new laptop, but fortunately got arrested in the living room.
He stole and sold my iPod, etc. Oh, and my (then) boyfriend and I had to pay to have the door he busted through repaired.
2 – Met a girl on Craigslist. She seemed normal… another addict, who was also a HOARDER. She called her hoard stash “antiques,” but it was seriously just straight-up hoarding. She brought a cat with her.
One day she disappeared after living with us for less than a month. She ignored our phone calls and texts, and when we occasionally reached her, she’d tell us some really obvious lie about being in the hospital, being out of state, etc.
The poor cat was left in her room for days until, finally, we liberated it. It was sick and in heat, so I adopted her out to one of my close friends, who got her UTI treated and had her spayed.
The cat is now a normal, healthy, happy cat. Also, she caused multiple damages that we had to fix: painting the walls to look bad, ripping a sealed crawl space open, etc. It was a nightmare.
Those two did plenty of other dumb stuff too, but those two things stand out to me the most.
54. A Pathological Liar
After my experience with this roommate, I am out $4,000+. He didn’t pay rent, stole and forged my checks, took off with 4 months left on the lease. Before all this happened, we were friends for two years. Here are some other highlights:
Came home so drunk he thought I was his ex gf. Kicked a hole in the wall and shattered my hookah. Ordered tons of adult videos on the cable account under my name without telling me.
Left his room for me to clean on move-out, complete with rotting chicken wing bones in his dresser and a towel you could use to break a window. Stopped paying the water bill but continued to poo in the toilet that wouldn’t flush.
The guy was a pathological liar. I haven’t spoke to him since he took off six years ago. I’m still going strong, but I can’t imagine how he is functioning.
55. So Much For Living With My “Best Friend”
I had a roommate who got mad every time I asked him to pay his share of the bills. He took stuff to his girlfriend’s place and acted dumb when I asked for it back.
The jerk spent most of the time at his girlfriend’s place, and would leave dirty dishes for me to deal with. He called me a liar when I told him to clean his stuff (claimed they weren’t his).
He also let random people crash on the couch without informing me or even being there. He moved out, stole a hookah, a bunch of my dishes, didn’t pay the rest of his bills, and I never saw him again.
So much for living with my “best friend.” I still get angry thinking about it.
56. Don’t Touch My Cake
During freshman year in college, my roommate was an absolute slob. I am not super neat, but you could see a clear divide between our sides of the room.
He never picked up any clothes, left food wrappers/crumbs everywhere, and just plain didn’t clean up to the point where RAs would avoid coming down the hall because of the smell (despite my yelling at him and multiple warnings).
Thank God he kept himself relatively clean. Anyways, it was my birthday, and I got a cake in the mail from my mom. I left it (wrapped in plastic wrap) on my bed to go to class for the day, and when I got back, it was partially unwrapped and had several fist-fulls was taken out of it and a trail of crumbs leading to his computer desk chair.
He clearly dropped a sizeable chunk on the floor and did not clean it up. I’m not an angry person, but in my cake fury, I hit him pretty darn hard in the face and left the room to go fume.
He never went on my side of the room again, and when I came back from winter break, he was moved out (his mess too!) without saying anything to me.
Sure, I feel kind of bad…. but… cake! APPLE cake!
57. Rooming With The Prostitutes
My sophomore year of college, two of my suitemates were Craigslist prostitutes. They brought their “business” back to the dorm frequently. It was so gross.
58. She Crossed The Line
It was my last semester of college, and I was living 2 hours from campus. I made an arrangement to pay some rent and share a room with a friend (bunk beds) two days a week.
We went to a party, and I spoke to a guy she had liked for a year. I literally spoke to him…. just hello, nice to meet you type of business, while other people were around. She was furious and decided not to speak to me ever again in her life.
She had borrowed money from me to make ends meet. She would not pay me the money she owed me. And, again, she stopped speaking to me.
This was the beginning of the semester, so it was incredibly uncomfortable for me at her house (although I had paid to live there and let her borrow money).
So, I ran up the phone bill (this was some years ago) on her land line for a few hundred dollars (300 maybe) the last month I was there. She owed me much more than that.
59. A Thief
My first (and only) college roommate not only stole jewellery from me but also clothes and shoes, and other objects. She would take them from my closet or drawers, wash them with her detergent, and claim they were hers.
When I left the school later, I unpacked to find that I was missing one shoe from about 8 pairs. The other objects were shower-related and blank CDs. I knew she was taking my CDs because I marked the cover before I went to class one day, and when I came back, there were 10 missing.
I gave her a couple of chances to come clean, but she didn’t, so I mixed super glue with her toenail polish while she was in class. She freaked out when she couldn’t get her socks off three days later.
60. Let The Games Begin
I am currently living the nightmare of the cliche horrible roommate. She has all of the classic “bad roommate” traits.
Leaving hair in/on/around the shower, not replacing the toilet paper, TAKING ALL OF THE TOILET PAPER WHEN SHE LEAVES ON BREAKS, letting dirty dishes pile up for weeks around our only sink in the bathroom, bringing over a guy multiple nights a week (we both share one room), being generally stupid, the list goes on.
So instead of getting upset with her, I calmly doused some of her things in deer urine and do so many times a week. Let the games begin.
61. Drunk Driving
I think I just had the worst roommate in general. JJ was an alcoholic and would throw up in the bathroom sink and just leave it there, but he once topped himself to an extreme.
My brother and I lived with JJ, and one day the two of us got home to find my brother’s car missing. JJ had gotten drunk and taken the car.
When he was out, he got a flat tire from driving like an idiot, forgot where he lived and drove to his previous apartment, and left my brother’s car running in a parking lot on the side of the road with the doors open. We found him sitting in front of some random house.
62. Sleeping With My Ex-Wife
I had been divorced from my wife for about a year when I moved in with a friend. A few months into our lease, I started noticing her (my ex) hanging around a lot.
I was suspicious but didn’t say anything. It became glaringly obvious that they were together when I started hearing them have intercourse in the room next to mine every day.
I don’t think I would have cared as much if he had started seeing an ex-girlfriend of mine, but my ex-wife? Heck no. Not only did I get to hear their fun, she was in my home all the time. When I got up, she was there. When I got home, she was there. It was just too much.
63. Not An Indian
My roommate, freshman year in college, bought a safe and would always put his laptop and wallet in it at night. I later found out he originally got the safe because he thought I was Indian and was going to steal his stuff.
He got this impression because when we became Facebook friends, I had pictures from my high school graduation, and I looked nothing like my parents cause I was very tan. Anyway, I am white and have never stolen anything before.
64. What A Stupid Idea
Got a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue for my birthday from a friend. I went out of town. Roommate proceeds to drink half the bottle and then fill it up with water like I wouldn’t notice.
And then had the audacity to lie about it and continues to till this day. I do believe he doesn’t remember, though. He got laid off after getting a DUI. Proceeded to drink himself stupid for eight months and was eventually taking our rent money to pay his car bill.
Didn’t realize it till we had an eviction notice. Forced him to get his parents to pay for our three months of rent he didn’t pay, but I still have an eviction on my record.
I have a copy of the notice that says I was not evicted, so wherever I go, I have to show that to future landlords or when I buy a house, so we don’t get denied.
65. She Made My Day
I had to work abroad for three months. I came home to discover the bathroom light bulb had blown just after I left. Roomie felt she couldn’t change it herself, so she called an electrician.
The electrician laughed at her and told her she could save a fortune and do it herself. She still hadn’t done it by the time I got back.
Needless to say, I fixed it in about 5 minutes. It would have been sooner, but I couldn’t stop chuckling at the thought of her being in the dark for months.
66. A Selfish Person
My first roommate in college was a nightmare. She’d party all night and then wake me up at 4 am when she got in to see if she got any phone calls (this was before cell phones were common, but our college phones had voicemails).
It was a dry campus, and she would drink all the time in the dorm and leave bottles and cans all over the place. I drank too, but I at least had the common sense to hide the bottles!
She’d come back from sorority parties trashed off her ass and expected me to take care of her. It came to a head when I went back home for the weekend, and when I got back, she had put a leaky McDonald’s cup on my brand-new laptop. Who knows how long it had been sitting there.
I told her I was going down to the student life office to see about getting my own dorm. It was worth the extra fee to live alone. Luckily there was an empty dorm on the same floor I had been on, and was able to move there.
I went back to my dorm to start packing up, and she had already moved all of my stuff out into the hallway! I hadn’t even told her I was able to move out yet! Turns out she wasn’t cut out for college, anyway. She dropped out after one year.
67. Disgusting Living Habits
I had a roommate who (among other disgusting things) repeatedly left blood on the toilet seat when she was on her period and left her bloody pads sitting out. One time she left one on the radiator, and it melted down to the metal.
68. A Pan Caked With Eggs
My old roommate always used the same pan for eggs and never cleaned it. For an entire year this pan was caked with eggs and just sat on the stove (which was also covered in egg splatter.) Even if I cleaned it for him, it would be back on the stove the next day.
69. Apparently, It Was My Turn
My roommate once asked for the place to herself for a romantic evening with a chef she was dating. He made her a huge seafood dinner. When I came home the next day, there was a huge pile of dishes in the sink.
Her reasoning: it was my turn to do the dishes. We fought about it for days as the lobster pot and all accompanying dishes stunk up the joint. In the end, I did them because I no longer could tolerate the smell. She moved out shortly thereafter.
70. The Shower Saved Us Both
The best roommate I ever had and yet the worst roommate story. He was an awesome dude who lived with me for three years, but this took place when he was visiting after moving to Boston.
Anyways, we go downtown to see all his old buddies, and he just gets hammered. On the drive home, he throws up all over my car and doesn’t even try to get it out the window.
We get home, and he’s a big guy with like 75lbs on me, and he won’t get out of the car, so I leave him to sleep in his own vomit.
I went out to check on him an hour later, and he got himself to the grass to sleep but literally pooped his pants. I got him inside and threw him in the shower, jeans and all, and helped clean him up. Thank god for the shower heads with hoses.
71. Crazy Annie
My college roommate, Annie, and I did not get along. My first day there, she put up a curtain dividing the room and told me never to speak to her unless she asked me to.
So a few months go by and we mostly live in silent resentment. Untill one day, Annie decided that she wanted her friend to live in the room instead and that I was the spawn of Satan (I liked punk rock, had multiple piercings, and pink hair), so she launched a campaign to get me to leave or kicked out.
First, she said that I was smoking in the room(I don’t smoke), then she inexplicably took all of my sheets, planted rotten food under my bed, then (my personal favorite) told the RA (my boyfriend’s cousin) that I was a lesbian.
Predictably, none of this worked, so her next ploy was to make sure I caught her and her boyfriend screwing on my bed.
When that also didn’t work, she physically attacked me. After that last one, I just walked out and never came back to the room. I reported Annie, she got kicked out and then I rented a house with my friends off campus.
72. Not The Best Way To Spend A Birthday
Police came and took my roommate against her will because her Boyfriend called in a suicide alert on her to teach her not to say, “I’m gonna kill myself!” every time something doesn’t go her way. She spent twelve hours in Psych at the hospital on her birthday…
73. He Bragged About Not Using Soap
College roommate freshman year. Never used any sheets on the dorm mattress (just slept directly on the mattress). He kept all of the clothes in trash bags in the beginning, but eventually, they ended up in a giant pile on the floor.
He would search through the pile, do the sniff test on several items, and put on the least smelly. We lived in a suite, so we shared a bathroom with the dorm next door.
I never saw him take soap of any kind into the shower. Six weeks into the semester, I hear him tell his buddy that he hasn’t used soap since before the semester started. He and his buddies were always playing Magic until 2 am even though I had an 8 am class.
Luckily he moved out at semester. I was looking into it if he hadn’t
74. The Guy Stole From Us
I was staying with my boyfriend, who had signed a lease with a previous roommate of his. This guy was the gamer type, barely left his room and lived off of frozen pizza, and couldn’t hold a job because of (IMO) pure laziness.
One day, on the 2nd of the month, after checking my bank account, I saw that $700 was withdrawn from an ABM. I didn’t do it.
After confronting him, he admitted that he watched me type my pin at the grocery store a few days earlier, took the money to pay for rent and pizza, and thought he could get the money back into my account before I could notice.
He also admitted to taking cash out of both my and my boyfriend’s wallets for a few months. I was more pissed than you can imagine.
75. $10,000 Worth Of Damages
Roommate flooded the whole apartment because he forgot to turn the sink off. We were on the second floor and our land lord lived under us. The water went through the floor and ruined her apartment too. He owed $10,000 worth of damages.
76. I Was So Happy When She Moved
I had a roommate with 2 little yappy dogs that never shut up. They barked constantly and at absolutely nothing. Never in my life have I wanted to harm an animal or person until those dogs.
She would also be late on her rent and sit on the couch watching glee on Netflix. Like the full series. And when she finished it, she would watch it again from the beginning.
She would constantly fall asleep on the couch or sleep in the guestroom rather than in her bedroom because she never cleaned it. She totaled her car by rear-ending someone, and, big surprise, her insurance had lapsed because she didn’t pay the bill.
Finally, she told me she was moving out. I was excited. Then, a week before she was going to move out, she said, “Oh, what if I didn’t move out?”. I told her as quickly as I could, “Well, that will suck for my friend Mike who is moving in in 2 weeks”.
She then claimed she couldn’t move because she didn’t have money for movers. I said, get a truck, and I’ll help you move. She got a truck, I somehow summoned superhuman strength and loaded up all her stuff, and helped her unload everything. I have never been so happy in my life, so drive off and block her number.
77. Netflix And Chill
My 2nd-year college roommate was dirty. Dirty clothes everywhere. He’d spill iced tea, soda, coffee, etc., and never clean it up. Same with food. His side of the room was just a mess, and I’m surprised we never had roach or mouse infestations.
Miraculously, he had a girlfriend, and they frequently Netflix and Chilled before Netflix existed. So, when I’d come back from hanging out with my friends, the room would smell like sex-flavored popcorn…or their bodily fluids smelled like popcorn. Disgusting either way.
Within a few months, he decided to move in with his girlfriend off campus. That had to be the best day of my 2nd year.
78. Such A “Nice” Girl
My current roommate never has her money on time, refuses to put my name on anything, and still feels okay with complaining that I don’t help take the money to the place that it’s owed and asks for “my share of the late fees.”
Gets really upset when I ask her to mop the floors that have her new puppy’s poop smeared all over. And I mean ALL OVER. Posts Facebook statuses like, “I should really stop being so nice” when I address these problems politely.
Gave my 30-day notice for the end of February, and yesterday she told me she has friends who are living in a garage, so I’ll need to leave in five days for them to move in. Not happening.
79. We Don’t Talk Anymore
My roommate used to stand on the toilet seat to poop and would end up pooping all over the toilet seat. He usually would not clean it up, so I would bleach the seat every time I used it.
He would also sleep on the roof and would piss in the middle of the night right outside my window, so it sounded like it was raining, very soothing.
He would take my couch cushions on the roof to sleep on a wooden platform he built so we couldn’t use the couch. One day the wooden platform blew off the roof and missed my friend by about two feet, it probably would’ve killed him.We don’t talk anymore.
80. He Needed Some “Help”
My dad has been with my mom since he was a sophomore in high school. One of his roommates in college was a football player. He had a huge stereo system and a closet full of beer.
One night, my dad was sleeping in his room, and his roommate came in and said, “Hey, I need some help. I’ve got five chicks here. I can’t handle all of them, can you cover a couple for me?” My dad declined, or at least that’s what he told me. He knew that my dad was in a serious relationship and still pushed him.
81. I’ll Never Forget This Girl
I will never forget her. She was paranoid and woke up very early and “prayed” out loud to God about me hiding her keys from her. She insisted I had done this to get on her nerves, and when she finally found the keys in her car between the seats, she insisted I had planted them there.
She also said that people who coughed in her presence were doing so to get on her nerves and she warned me that if someone coughed she would uncontrollably blurt out “F@-* You!” Which occurred at the bank one day when she was paying me her rent a week late.
The poor man who coughed had no idea why she was cussing at him. She was insane.
82. Don’t Touch My Thanksgiving Leftovers
My old roommate was shameless enough to eat my Thanksgiving leftovers (even when he had his own food in the fridge) yeah, I was not happy about that. He stole many items that I bought, but the Thanksgiving leftovers…. Too far, that meant WAR.
83. Maggots Everywhere
In The military I rented a room off this newly divorced guy in my unit, super cheap room. Him and his new gf were disgusting.
I went away for a long weekend one time and they had let enough food fall on the kitchen floor and trash overflow that there was a literal sea of maggots on the kitchen floor.
I just sprayed down the kitchen with strong bleach water to kill everything and sent him a text that he wasn’t getting rent if the kitchen didn’t become clean enough to use, the maggot farm is too far. Magically was a normal level of clean by the end of the day.
84. The Sheets Were Disgusting
This was my freshman roommate, but we were in the same room. She was a softball player and would come back from practice sweaty and immediately jump into bed, getting her sheets disgusting.
The only time they ever got washed was when her parents came to visit. The room would smell so bad that it would wake me up at night sometimes, and I could literally taste it.
85. Do Your Damn Dishes
It got so bad with our 1 roommate that I and the 3rd guy bought our own set of matching color dishes. I had red, he had blue. We would only use and wash our own stuff.
When the dishes got to overflowing, we would put them in a basin, and stack them in front of pig pen’s door. He’d trip over them and get super pissed but man, do your damn dishes.
86. I Couldn’t Sleep Because Of Her
Had a roommate in college for TWO years that slept with her TV on. She needed therapy badly but wouldn’t get it (it was available for free on our campus).
She’d sleepwalk/talk. She’d sit up in bed and get frantic about something and then fall back asleep. Oh, and the channel she insisted on falling asleep to? Nick at Nite. I have seen every episode of the George Lopez show against my will.
87. I’m Glad I Moved
My first roommate. Oh, the memories. Very heavy, very socially awkward, and definitely psychotic. Often mumbled to himself with shifty eyes, ate my food, and was either railing against the evils of religion out trying to get me to join the Army Of The Virgin or some other Catholic sect.
He often lounged around in his tighty whiteys and refused to clothe himself if I had guests or girls over. He would also have long phone arguments with his girlfriend, who according to the wallet photo he had of her, was Hoggish Greedly from Captain Planet.
The kicker for me was when he had a breakdown, he called the RA and a counselor in to talk with him while I was writing a paper. He was highly agitated and at one point said, “I just looked over at demonjuices while he was asleep and thought to myself, ‘I should just take out my knife and kill him and then myself.’ No offense, demonjuices.”
I was in the zone with the paper, so I automatically replied, “None taken,” then did a double take as the horror dawned on me. Nonplussed eye contact with my RA.Noped out and moved to a different floor.
88. Two Crazy Roommates
I had two crazy roommates because one wouldn’t be enough. The first roommate’s boyfriend broke up with her halfway through the first semester.
Which caused her to spiral into a mini-depression. After crying and wailing into the toilet for the majority of that night, she then refused to leave her bed or shower for three days. People asked me if her family had died because of the severity of her response.
Afterwards, she “coped” by bringing over random guys to hook up with pretty consistantly until the end of the year. The other roommate was extremely superficial and not the brightest.
She would spend over an hour getting ready just to leave the dorm for any reason, like food or class, really anything. She also managed to spend $500 on food the first week and proceeded to blame her parents and cry after her mom asked her what she was doing.
I will never not laugh at her response of, “Well, Mom, all my friends go to Chipotle, so I have to go too, and I can’t not get guac.”
She then started stealing my food in the middle of the night, so I would have to wake up, shine my phone and catch her stuffing her face with my cheezeits like a little nocturnal squirrel. Oh, freshman year, never again.
I was friends with a girl a year behind me. In her freshman year, she was randomly matched with a girl who was convinced she was in a relationship with the lead singer of Tokyo Hotel and had been for several years, but it was obviously some catfisher on the internet.
They would Skype where only he could see her, his video would be blank for “security reasons,” and he told her they could never meet in person because of the media.
And since he was always “on tour,” she would Skype with him at all hours of the night to make up for the time zone differences. It was actually kinda sad/scary, several people I know tried to explain to her that she was being taken advantage of, but she could/would not listen, pretty sure she did stuff on camera for him and sent him money.
She also brought multiple bags from home stuffed full of her cat’s hair and knitted tiny clothes/figurines/whatever out of it. My friend was, of course, very allergic to cat hair.
90. No Women And Alcohol In The Room
My roommate was a born-again Christian who did not allow alcohol or women in the room. If he saw alcohol, he would go to the floor manager and demand a room check since we were not allowed on campus.
The floor manager would come in and ask, “Do you have alcohol?” and I would reply, “No.” The floor manager would try to leave, and the roommate would burst in from the hallway and say, “Yes, he does!” but would not find it. I hid it in his closet every time. He never figured that part out.
Literally, the same process would happen with women in the dorm after 11 pm. The same two-act play, the same hiding place. He would always scream about the women when they came in.
“My momma didn’t raise me to shack up with no woman” was his favorite phrase. I asked more and more women to come in and stay until exactly 10:59:59 p.m. every night. Eventually, he dropped out of college from the stress.
I guess I am the monster.
One of my freshman roommates was a self-professed kleptomaniac. She got a huge thrill from stealing clothes from department stores. Usually Nordstrom.
In the first week or so of school, she went through her closet and showed us all of the clothing she had stolen, plus she knew how much each item cost and how she’d swiped it.
Thousands of dollars worth of nice clothing. She had so much that half of it still had tags on, and she never wore it, but she took it because she knew she could.
Usually, this theft involved carrying a really big purse, taking way too many items into a dressing room, and then emerging with one item in the purse, one to buy, and the rest to put back. Then if an alarm went off, they would assume it was just the item she had purchased and let her leave.
Half the time, she returned the item she paid for soon after too. It got to the point where girls in the dorm would go to the mall with her, and they’d all pick out clothes they liked, and she’d go back on her own later and steal them for them. It was crazy. And to my knowledge, she’s still doing this and hasn’t been caught.
She never seemed to steal from anywhere other than department stores, and none of my stuff ever went missing, so I guess she wasn’t too bad of a roommate, really. Just a person of questionable morals.
92. Meet Ron
We had a suite of six guys. One of these guys, Ron, was a weird hippie who did all sorts of hysterical things.
Example 1: He was barefoot wherever he went (not too bad, but we got concerned when it started snowing).
Example 2: Another suitemate and I came home one day and opened the door and there were something like five 20-gallon drums filled with dirt and dying plants. There were bugs everywhere for weeks. When we asked Ron, “What the hell?” He responded by exclaiming, “Look, guys! Can you believe the farm was giving these away for free?”
Example 3: He liked to use the microwave to cook. He once baked weed into chocolate using the microwave (impressive). Another time he put a plastic bowl in for about 20 minutes until the thing vaporized and released poison smoke. Another time he made his tea so hot that it spilled and melted the carpet.
Example 4: He invited my roommate in for a threesome (guess it would have been a foursome if he had said yes) out of the blue.
Example 5: He fermented apple wine under his bed. That was actually pretty cool.
93. He Never Cleaned The Plates
He was leaving dirty plates in his bed, covered with his sheets. When he was going to sleep, he just kicked the plates and didn’t bother to clean them.
94. One of the Most Repellent People I’ve Ever Met
This girl was honestly one of the most repellent people I’ve ever met. Her side of the room looked like an episode of Hoarders threw up on it.
She once spilled an entire jug of juice on the floor, threw a towel over it, and left it there, piling more stuff on it for months while it grew an ever-spreading patch of mold.
She smelled horrible. She would shower but still smell immediately afterward, which doesn’t seem possible, but she managed it.She would leave passive-aggressive sticky notes on all of her belongings whenever she went home for the weekend (like “don’t watch me!” on her tv, or “don’t sit on me!” on her chair). I never messed with her stuff anyway though I was tempted whenever I saw those stupid notes.
She’d sleep with her boyfriend while I was in the room, and she thought I was sleeping but would make gagging sounds if I even kissed my boyfriend in her presence.She used words like “fustrated” and “sority” (she was also in a sorority), and “liberry.”
Thinking back, I’m kinda surprised I made it through the first year without committing murder.
95. He Wet The Bed
The freshman-year college had bunk beds. My drunk roommate comes home before me. He sleeps on top. He drank too much. He wet the bed….like an open fire hydrant, apparently. I came home later and sat down in a flash flood puddle on mine, soaked to the core.
Needless to say, I threw it in the shower and told him to get me a new one.
96. “Coldie Oldies”
Besides never cleaning up after himself. Refusing to do laundry or take out the trash, all the usual bad roommate stuff. After a night of drinking at our house, whether it was just us (5 guys to the house) or a 50-person party, he would go around to every beer bottle or can and check for any leftover beer.
If there was, he would pour all the beer into a large juice jug, roughly 4L or a gallon. He’d then leave it in the fridge until the next day, so it was properly cold. He called it “coldie oldies.”
97. The Drug Dealer
I once lived in a house with a buddy. This buddy invited one of his drug-dealing friends to live with us while he was out of a place to live. Was supposed to last only a month, so I agreed it was fine. The drug dealer roommate ended up staying way longer. In fact, I moved out before he did!
One night I get to woke up to a fight between him and his stripper girlfriend at 4:30 am. I can’t remember the exact specifics of the argument, but I do remember the drug dealer roommate yelling, “At least I am going places with my life.”
REALLY. YOU DEAL DRUGS, SLEEP DURING THE DAY, AND DON’T PAY YOUR CHILD SUPPORT.
98. The Weird Kid
My first-year roommate in college was exactly what I feared. I am personally an outgoing person. I like to socialize, drink, etc. My roommate on the other hand was something I had never seen before.
He would sleep in jeans and a button-down every night religiously. He showered maybe twice a week, tops. He also would not speak to me or anyone else. In the span of a year, with no exaggeration, he only spoke 5-10 words.
I always tried communicating with him because thats what a normal roommate does but he seemed like he wasn’t even there. After long nights of drinking and partying, I would come home at 4-5 am and he would be waking up to do his homework or watch Courage the Cowardly Dog.
The sound of his beyond-strange laughter still wakes me up to this day.
99. Worst Decision Ever
Met a girl on Craigslist in a new town. Got along really well for the first few months, hung out, etc. After a drunken fight with her boyfriend where he kicked in her door, and she pushed him down the stairs, she then decided I had been flirting with him (gross, by the way) and basically tried to kill me. I win, right?
100. She Never Cleaned
I had a roommate that ordered delivery 2x a day and left bags of trash/food waste all over the living room because she was too lazy to get off the couch. She wouldn’t bother putting anything in the trash can because she didn’t want to take take the trash out.
Not to mention she never cleaned anything. Ever.
101. A Fan Full Of Vomit
Roommate came back to the dorm after drinking. Rolls over and throws up on my fan, which is running, and ends up literally blowing chunks of food all over the room.
He tries to clean my fan with a paper towel the next morning and gives it back to me. We ended up throwing out the carpet, and luckily the fan was blowing towards his side of the room, so he only had to clean up his mess.
102. The Girl With The Angry Dogs
I moved in with 4 other girls in my age group. One had 2 large, aggressive dogs that hated me. Not that I gave them a legit reason to.
She was too lazy to control her dogs, and I was too scared to scold or confront them when they pooped on my bed. Granted she did clean it up for me, but she allowed this to happen several times in the first month. I finally moved out. I’d like to note that we shared the room, and thus no way to keep the dogs off my bed.
Many times I’d come home from work dead tired and wanted to sleep, but couldn’t because her dogs were on my bed, and she wouldn’t move them.
“It’ll make them hate you more if I make them get down, and they see you on the bed.”
103. A Mean Exchange Student
I stayed in a 4-person dorm room in college during my first year (later, I moved on to 2-person rooms). One of the roommates was an exchange student from France and didn’t really interact with us at all.
She cut her toenails in public when we had guests. The last straw was this: we were celebrating one of the other roomie’s birthday and cut her a slice of cake. After 5 minutes, she threw it in the garbage bin without even trying it!
104. Deep-Frying Sessions Late At Night
How about Adderall and booze-filled deep-frying sessions late into the night? My roommate and her boyfriend battered and deep-fried anything and everything they could get their hands on.
The end result was our tiny kitchen covered in hardened batter and grease, which of course, they didn’t clean for days. And yes, bugs loved it. That was the day I began making my escape plans.
105. Weird Behavior
Had a roommate during my freshman year who used to talk to herself and then answer back in a British voice. I am a light sleeper, and sometimes at night, I would wake up and roll over facing across the room, and there she’d be, sitting on the edge of her bed on the other side of the room.
Just staring. At me. And mumbling while she rubbed her hands together.
106. Neither Of Us Got Our Money Back
Messy roommate burnt holes in the carpet repeatedly with his routine of bingeing hookah and loudly raging at World of Warcraft. His mom threatened to sue the landlord to get the whole deposit back. Nobody got any money back.
107. They Kept My Deposit
There were 4 of us renting a house next to campus a few years ago. We got along pretty well, not the best of friends or anything but we seemed to have an understanding. Or so I thought.
Come time to move out, I get a text from the nicest of the three letting me know that I wasn’t getting my deposit back. When I asked why he basically said they were taking my deposit because they can.
They got the deposit back lumpsum from the landlord and just decided to split it up 3 ways instead of 4.
They didn’t need the money, all of them were engineers and had just gotten signing bonuses.I’m still heated about it to this day.
108. Psycho Roommie
I had a roommate that stole my identity so she wouldn’t get evicted for having too many pets. Before that, I turned her into the office for multiple issues.
At one point, she flipped all the breakers to my bedroom and would pound on my door all night long while screaming obscenities. She would steal my food, sold pills out of the apartment, etc.
We listed her room for rent once we were sure we could get her off the lease. She responded to our posts with emails stating her roommates were much younger than her (we were both older), immature, and alcoholics (except she was the one stealing the booze).
When she left, she kicked my bedroom door in and stole a bunch of my stuff. The office didn’t do a walk-through with her, and we ended up paying for the damage.
109. I’m So Disgusted
One of my roommates doesn’t ever clean up after herself (actually, none of them do, but this one is particularly bad).
One day the kitchen is a mess, and it’s all her pots and pans and bowls and plates. So her boyfriend-not-really-boyfriend-whatever is coming over one day, like last summer or fall, so instead of doing her dishes real quick, she throws them all in the oven (which doesn’t work) with food still caked on them and everything.
They’re all still there. A year later. Living with girls is disgusting and frustrating.
110. I’ll Never Forget Him
A guy I lived with in college would pick an argument based on who came up with the ‘better’ information, regardless of his opinion. He also enjoyed arguing for the sake of arguing.
We had a group that would go to dinner each day, and they would stop by our room, and we would all walk down together. He wouldn’t go unless personally invited. The only time he would go places without being invited was when I would try to do things without him, then he invited himself.
He was really creepy on social media, commenting under girls’ pictures, “You’re so beautiful,” etc. My favorite post by him was, “Hope everyone is having a great valentines day, because I’m not.”
111. She Never Flushed The Toilet
A girl I used to live with would always leave her pee and poop in the toilet without flushing it. I’m not sure if she just liked looking at her own waste or if it was a thing she learned as a kid.
Either way, it was really disgusting, but I never confronted her about it because I didn’t want her to be embarrassed about it, so I just moved.
112. Puking Every Day
I had a roommate from India who used to drink his own urine and force himself to vomit every morning. He claimed it was part of his religion, I have no idea if that’s true. It was great being woken up every morning to the sounds of puking.
113. He Brought A Homeless Guy Into Our Home
Roomie once brought a homeless man he was having an argument with into the apartment. I called the cops to get him out of there, then roomie starts with the personal attacks, which I ignored.
Then came to me the next day, all apologies and excuses and stuff. Pretty sure he hid his knife somewhere that night as well. Rookies…
114. No Servants In This House
Was living in a share house with 7 other people. Sounds already dodgy. The other housemates were from China and had servants most of their lives. One of the housemates had a habit of leaving fruit and veg out of the fridge for weeks.
The celery managed to decompose over the course of weeks to a mushy substance. That’s not even the worst part. The morning of my final exams for Uni and running 2 hours of sleep, I woke up to get back into study, put on the kettle to wake up.
Made coffee and proceeded to get back into the study when… after a nice big sip of broccoli and carrot coffee. Yup, housemates thought it would be a great idea to boil vegetables in the kettle. Not happy.
115. Sticky Fingers
She stole my underwear and left it crusty and stale in the back of her closet. Jackets, jewelry, shirts, my boyfriends shirt (wtf?), seriously so weird. We were getting along great before i found out she had sticky fingers.
116. She Used To Be My Best Friend
Mine was a former best friend. She’d collect animals and then leave on week-long camping trips and I would have to take care of them.
At the peak of “zoo house” we had a large dog, two cats (one had diabetes, those twice daily insulin shots are just great), two birds (one with a misshapen beak) a bunny that turned into 7 bunnies and a hedgehog.
She rarely cleaned, left dishes all over the house, but especially in her room. And she would always leave her clothes in either the washer or dryer…just annoying as hell. Pile on some personal problems we were having, basically ended our roommate-dom and friendship.
117. He Took My Money
My roommate called me and said that our apartment had been broken into. Knowing that I got paid in large sums of cash and that I didn’t go to the bank every day, he said, “The place is trashed, tell me where you hide your money and I’ll make sure it’s still there”.
The catch is it’s incredibly unlikely that anyone would have found the money in my sweet-ass hiding spot and even more unlikely that our place would have been broken into given the type of apartment etc.
Yeah, my roommate totally took my money once I had him go check for it. Nothing is more demoralizing for a college kid than losing over a thousand dollars of hard-earned cash. Live and learn, I guess.
118. His GF Now Hates Me
My roommate kept a picture of his girlfriend on our window sill. I wouldn’t have had a problem with it besides the fact that it was black and white, and her pose made it seem like she had passed away.
So one weekend, when he went home, my then-GF and I were going to have the sexy time when she asked if we could turn the picture around because it was creeping her out. Made a mental note to make sure to return it to its original position before he came home.
He came home a day early and was wondering why the picture was turned around. He also had the idea of telling his GF what happened, which is now why she hates me.
119. Don’t Use My Razor
I once had a roommate. He was and still is a great friend. It was common knowledge to me and a few other people that he shaved his junk. I had never seen him nude, but for some reason, we knew about it.
One day I come home and found my Fusion razor on the side of the tub. I have no idea how long he had been shaving his pubes with my blades, but he swore it was just that once. After that, we had a very clear understanding- use my razor again and get an ass whipping.
1. Smoke Everywhere
I came home after work one morning to smoke barreling out of my oven. My roommate left a pizza cooking all night while passed out drunk. He lived through the smoke, but everything I owned, including all my furniture and property, reeked of putrid smoke for 3 weeks.