Everyone knows that some of the funniest words to come out of someone’s mouth are when they wake up from any kind of surgery. The effects of anesthetics are strong, and they usually make people say crazy things.
Here are some of the most unforgettable, weirdest, and heartwarming things that people said while under the effects of anesthetics, according to Redditors.
I had an ovarian cyst removed a year ago and woke up from the anesthesia saying ‘hand…hand please.’ and making ‘grabby hands’ with both my hands until the nurses finally came over and held my hands for about five minutes while I just smiled and tried to go back to sleep.
I hadn’t done that in a decade. I used to do it to my dad all the time as a kid to express that I wanted to hold his hand while I slept. Story credit – Reddit/mercyinreach
I recently had surgery for endometriosis, and I did the exact same thing. The nurses nicely held my hand before setting it back on the bed once I calmed down. Apparently, this lasted for 15-20 minutes until I realized they had tucked the stuffed animal I brought under my arm and that I could hold it instead.
They put bandages on it in the same place I had them. I’m 24, but because of covid, I had to be alone, and a stuffed animal was the best I could do. The rabbit
My boyfriend, at the time, had just gotten his wisdom teeth removed. On the ride home, with his mouth full of gauze, he gets a call on his cell phone. He answered it and just started talking away. Whoever it was on the other side could not possibly understand a word he was saying with all the gauze in his mouth. But man, he had a lot to talk about, and they apparently didn’t hang up.
After about 5 minutes of this unintelligible phone conversation, he looks at me and says, “Ooo, it’s a robot,” and gives me the phone. I put it to my ear, and the whole time it’s been the Walgreens pharmacy automated notice simply stating his prescription is ready for pickup, playing on repeat.
I ask a patient after surgery how he feels. He opens his eyes, stares at me dead-on, and says, “with my fingers.” Then he goes right back to sleep. That’s some next level. Dad jokes about commitment there. I aspire to be him.
He must be a father of two to have come up with that joke while under anesthesia. But either way, I respect it. Story credit – Reddit/[deleted]
I woke up from gallbladder surgery confused as to why my mom wasn’t there (I was 18 and looking for my mom). The nurse informed me I had cussed out my entire family, and they sent them home and put me on a no visitor list, only for me to wake up at 2 am with no memory of making them call my mom back. Another time I woke up and made horrifically inappropriate jokes.
I told a nurse she was pissing me off because I didn’t like the automatic blood pressure cuff. I refused to listen to follow-up orders until I had a chicken sandwich (my negotiations were not met). I’m a real treat after anesthesia, but I get a lot of this done at the office my mom works at, so she can warn them, lol. Story credit – Reddit/__hill
One summer, I was home from college, and my dad needed me to pick him up after his very first colonoscopy. He was nervous, so I got there early. The nurse called me back and asked me to help wake him up, as they were having some trouble.
I go back and am making chit-chat. “Oh, Dad, you’ve got those cool booties on!” He raised his head a little bit to look at them, then yelled, “Booty call!” He is a Presbyterian pastor. A moment I will treasure forever. Story credit – Reddit/mildflower9
One time I, a male biology student in his early 20’s with a stuck kidney stone, was being put under for surgery: Just as the anesthesiologist was pushing meds and telling me to count back from 100, I looked up at him in a drugged but focused gaze and said “You’re so pretty.. you could be in movies” then blackness.
The anesthesiologist was like a grizzled 70-year-old hunched-back looking guy with a lopsided grimace and more ear-hair than head-hair (great doc, though). The last thing I remember hearing was the OR nurses cracking up laughing. Story credit – Reddit/Kermit_the_hog
My husband had to undergo a colonoscopy, and when he came around, he started aggressively grilling the staff about Abraham Lincoln. That’s where it gets really fun because I don’t know why he thought of Abraham Lincoln.
He isn’t a historian or anything. He works as a business analyst and knows next to nothing about Abraham Lincoln.
I have no recollection of this, but according to my mom, when she met me in the recovery room after wisdom tooth extraction, I was very eager to tell her something, but my mouth was full of gauze.
So they gave me a pen, and I wrote something on the surgical bib. Hours later, when I was back in reality, she asked me, “what was with the meow meows, my son?” Story credit – Reddit/arclovestoeat
My personal story. When I had my wisdom teeth out, I kept holding a fake camera up to my face saying “you’re beautiful” and making clicking noises while I was under.
I’m a professional photographer, and my dental surgeon ended up booking a session with me a year later. It was weird to get a call from him, but the business was appreciated. Story credit – Reddit/cassiecas88
I had a guy (nefarious character, heavy drug use history) who got a bunch of ketamine (probably too much) in recovery from one of the other docs to help with severe pain after his abscess drainage. I was asked to check on him in an hour as the other doc had left for the evening. I went over and saw him in the K hole drooling on himself but otherwise fine, so I left and came back an hour later.
The first thing he says to me is, “why did you do that to me?”. I asked him what he meant, and he said, “you don’t understand. I lived another man’s life in there!” Story credit – Reddit/mat_srutabes
Patient here. I came out of anesthesia and heard Gotye’s “somebody that I used to know” playing in the recovery room. But it sounded something very different in my state.
I asked my significant other why they were playing it at like 10x the normal speed, and the nurse just went, “ok, so she’s not ready to go home yet.” Story credit – Reddit/ArchangelEquinox
How about the other way around? I took my mom for her surgery on her right shoulder, and her anesthesiologist was this very dignified, solemn older Persian gentleman.
My mom told him, “Just so you know. I wrote directions on myself to make sure you get it right!” He looked her straight in the eye and said deadpan, “Great. So let’s get started on your left knee.” Story credit – Reddit/looming mountains
I once came out of anesthesia after an endoscopy, which can cause you to burp pretty much the whole day, and my fiancée asked, “How’re you doing?” I misheard and answered as though she said, “What are you doing?”
My answer was “Little burps,” I said very confidently. I also started crying on the way home because I wanted one egg. I never crave eggs. Story credit – Reddit/allegedlydm